Jennifer Lopez Deep Picture Perfect Cleavage at People Magazine Awards

How in the heck does Jennifer Lopez keep getting hotter and hotter and her funbags more and more perfect with age? I’m quite certain she’d have to kill me if she told me, albeit I’d accept the penalty of death if my last meal were verifying the taste of her sweet Latina melons. Yes, I did just say that

Jennifer owned the red carpet at the People Magazine awards last night, an event you probably don’t care too much about because you’re not currently a 40-year old woman in a hair salon. But, as with most of these silly award shows and slaps on the collective Hollywood backs, plenty of fine ladies came out, none finer or more passion inducing than Jennifer. Maybe I’m biased because I dream nightly of Jenny from the Block practicing How Low Can You Go dance moves above my gaping maw, but how can you not love a woman flashing epic fine cleavage at forty-five like Jenny? I’m going to need more towels. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

READER FINDS: Emmy Rossum Panties, Nina Agdal Lingerie, Jacinda Barrett Topless and Much Much More…

 
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Hello there, Friday, most sacred of all weekdays for you are the one in seven rotations of the moon in which we as a community come together to collectively, yet prophylactically, frolic in the sight of Reader submitted celebrity sextastic. It’s the our own private champagne room version of making it rain, but without the need for dirty money or the uncanny smell of old licorice. Reader Finds is that time when we express ourselves socially, emotionally, and ultimately, once nobody is watching or we can close the door, quite physically. I find the entire thing to be a truly spiritual journey.

This week’s Reader Finds includes Nina Agdal scrumptious in lingerie (with many thanks to EgoReader ‘Barry T.’), Jacinda Barrett topless in skinematic perfection (much appreciation to ‘Ross’), 80′s lovely Betsy Russell topless onscreen in not one but two memorable roles (double wowzers provided by ‘Ellen’), Entourage’s Debbie Mazar flashing her bare Funions (unexpected goodies from ‘Tony C.’), Emmy Rossum in her undies for her new film (delicious snackables via ‘Gary’), Kari Wuhrer topless in the shower (kind find from ‘Alex’), Miranda Kerr crazy hot photoshoot (delivered to the door by ‘French’), Ophelia Kolb flashing ta’s for thespianics (curvy goodness tossed in by ‘Owen’), Taryn Terrell showing off her chestal goodies (oh, my my experience by ‘Doug’), , Helena Bonham Carter topless and making the sexy (crazy topless dramatics via ‘Stephen P.’, Ashley Olsen in perhaps her finest pictorial ever (sweet eagle eyed find from ‘Devon’), Ariana Grande highkicking panties peeks in her music video (from a ton of you who fell in love with this video), and last but not in any way least, hottie Vita Sidorkina topless Russian goodness (visual blessings from EgoReader ‘Chris’). It’s a good amount of hot skin. Do not enter if you have a weak heart or fear your may erupt in tears. Neither would be a good way for people to find you. Enjoy.

Cassie Cardelle Sextastic Body Water Pimping Time

Cassie Cardelle may be loaded with all sorts of hidden talents, but the not hidden talents is where my focus lies today. Wow, this model knows how to wear a swimsuit or bikini or whatever you might call that bit of wardrobe you are quickly imagining Poseidon sending a rogue wave to remove for full visual wonderment mode.

Cassie is once more prancing hot hot little body across the beaches of Malibu for the checkered bottled water company. I’m pretty sure if you camped out on the beach there for the day you’d be witness to many of these lust inducing beach girl shoots. I know, because I often do that. Cassie Cardelle is the kind of girl that comes into your life and you simply never forget when you first met. Often because that awkward moment is described in detail in the restraining order. Those silly things. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Nintendo Wants to FREAKING KILL US This Holiday Season

Whacked- Wii Injury

As we know, the tabloids hate video games. Games are the cause of any and all of society’s ills. These guys have a field day when they hear that the latest ghastly-ass serial killer was a Grand Theft Auto or Manhunt player.

The recent furore over Hatred is proof enough. Tasteless murder-em-ups just can’t get a break.

You’d expect to find Nintendo at the opposite end of the spectrum. When was the last time you saw Mario with a hooker, or flipping off his boss, or throwing grandma under the wheels of a speeding SUV? Never, that’s when. These family-friendly funsters have no effing time for that sort of thing.

But that doesn’t stop them getting the shitty end of the press stick. When the 3DS was released, Merry Olde England’s newspapers couldn’t stop bitching about it. That 3D effect would melt your goddamn eyeballs, they promised. This week, we’re having a hyperbole-tastic holiday with a little more BS from the Daily Mail.

Nintendolife brings us this report from a British medical journal, which concludes that a Wii may –may– be a safe gift this Christmas (assuming that there’s anyone still buying the damn thing by this point). But you’ll have to take care, as ‘several life-threatening conditions can be triggered by your console.’ Hernias, incontinence and ‘Nintendo Neck’ after the jump.
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Reese Witherspoon Topless Pictures! Oh, Baby Bare Reese Peekaboo in ‘Wild’

 
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There’s some early Oscar buzz on Reese Witherspoon and her epic performance in Wild. And, yes, I’ve called him Oscar since puberty, it just seemed to fit. Either way, he’s definitely buzzing upon seeing this snapshot of Reese’s top shots all bare and beautiful in the film. I know this movie is an amazingly moving dramatic tale of an outdoor adventure, but the indoor parts seem to be what shall move many of us the most. Did I happen to mention Reese Witherspoon topless?

I’ve loved Reese since our eyes first meet, well, since my eyes first met starting at her blindly on screen. She’s grown into quite the MILFtastic thespianic who takes challenges in her film roles. Including the challenge of being extremely cute and topless, which I suppose is more of a burden for us than for Reese who has the benefit of owning such sweet funbags. I’m kind of confused and foggy headed at the moment. I might need my own thousand mile treacherous hike to clear my head. Or, another beer and more peeks at Reese. If you know me well, you know that’s really just one option. Enjoy.

Fernanda Uesler One Piece Swimsuit Hot Body Throwdown on Miami Beach

Interesting. Very interesting. Brazilian sextastic model and beach comber extraordinaire Fernanda Uesler opted to throw her hat into the hottest body on the beach contest in a bright one piece swimsuit rather than a bikini. Granted, this isn’t your granny’s boardwalk bathing suit. Nay, this sleek little body hugging and lady parts revealing number is quite fashion forward. Not to mention other things leaning toward the front as you ogle this fine Sudamericana transplant engaged in the most epic silent body battle in the history of beach-hood.

Fernanda Uesler isn’t just some ‘chick on the beach’. She’s a divine presence flashing her fineries in one-piece style. This could be a complete game changer. And, trust me, this is the most wonderful game ever invented. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Maitland Ward as Sexy Santa Is Oh, So Sweet and Cleavy Pokey

There isn’t a single event in Hollywood where Maitland Ward and her sweet curves aren’t a welcome sight. Tis the season for wonderful shows of Sexy Santa costumes for girls like Maitland who bring their own Santa’s bag of tricks with them everywhere they go. If you need something to put you into the holiday spirit, just stare deeply into that racktastic bit of wonderment.

Christmas really is my favorite time of the year, in no small part thanks to how sextastic elves and Santa’s helpers have taken over the holiday by sheer force of being amazing looking. Maitland Ward is most definitely a North Pole treat that will leave you feeling the tug of gravity around your Southern Pole. That innuendo wasn’t even hardly veiled. Job well done, Maitland. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News / GSI